Do you ever wonder: “What does it take to become the world’s most beloved, respected, seductive, charismatic, and sought-after __________ on Instagram?” Of course you do, who hasn’t?

What filters do I use?

Poppi knows.

People are making fun of me. What do I do?

Poppi knows.

When should I post on Instagram?

Poppi knows.

What hashtags should I use?

Poppi knows.

I just had a kid! How should I announce it?

Poppi knows.

While most of us spend our time bumbling around trying to figure out what it takes to make it to the tip-top peak of Instagram mountain, there is one person who has already found the path and climbed the slopes: Benedict @Ultraromance Poppi Wheeler. No doubt you’re familiar with him—if you’re not then you’re probably dead.

Recently we had the opportunity to travel through Vermont with Poppi and while our starstruck crew was dumbfounded in his presence (such was our awe and reverence for his social media prowess), one of us had the courage to ask him, “Poppi, how do you do it, what’s you secret?” How brave a question; it’s like asking God how he created all this in six days, and why he needed a rest day. Fortunately Poppi is a much more New Testament than Old Testament. As it happened, later that evening our group would be overnighting at the Nenorod Cabin wing of the Merck Forest Corporate Retreat and Symposium Center just outside of Dorset, VT.

It was Poppi’s idea to use this location to give a symposium on how we could better our Instagram selves, with the stipulation that we do our best to disseminate this information out into the world. Our troop could hardly get through dinner and camp setup such was our anticipation, and when Poppi finally began to speak his words were a melodious song of observation and anecdote that seduced our attention and massaged our minds. To our great delight he held forth for nearly an hour on the general principles and particular nuances of what it takes to get “InstaFamous.”

Disclaimer: One thing Poppi asked us before he began his talk is that we all bring to this experience a heightened sense of self-awareness, to be aware of ourselves looking at ourselves. He said that we need to keep in mind that Instagram can be curated, molded, coddled, and manipulated. To be a good ‘Grammer is to be self aware, and Instagram is perhaps the world’s greatest game in which we are all performers. And the very best of us are those who are willing to make art out of that performance, and who let that art cross the line between the digital and the real.