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November 18, 2015

Dead Reckoning: Syd to Mel Normcore Bicycle Tour Day 06

Tumut

SECTION N^o1 Day 06 Stats & Intro

START - STOP: Wolgal Hut - Khancoban

DISTANCE: 52.9 mi.

ELEVATION GAIN: 5073 ft.

RIDING TIME: 6:13:49

TIME AWAKE SPENT IN PURSUIT OF THE TRIP, ROUGHLY: 8:00:00

POINTS OF INTEREST / OBJECTIVES: Survive the night in Wolgal Hut. Ride to Cabramurra for breakfast. Descend to Khancoban. Make the climb to Thredbo. Stay the night in Thredbo.

CUE SHEET: KML File Download

WEATHER: Exceedingly pleasant. I’d guess somewhere in the high-70s, which is like mid-20s or something for the un-Americans out there.

Really, the story of today is all about the 20 kilometers from Wolgal Hut to Cabramurra and how it was mysteriously long and painful. To give you a sense of how it felt, here are five similes:

Like traveling across the Atlantic on the Mayflower with dysentery.
Like sitting through a dentist appointment where your dentist is that Nazi from the movie The Running Man.
Like watching a kettle, waiting for it to boil.
Like taking a number at the DMV.
Like waiting for the next season of Game of Thrones to premiere.

MAJOR SUPPORT PROVIDED BY

5:00am: Awake, in bed, freaked out.
6:00am: Awake, in bed, freaked out.
7:00am: Awake, in bed, freaked out.
8:00am: By this point Lachlan, Daniel, and Kyle have concluded that this hut is most definitely haunted. Probably by a spiritual mixture of cursed gold miners and pissed off aboriginals. Kevin Franks however slept soundly.
8:36am: It’s only 20km to Cabramurra, the closest place to get food. Only 20km.
9:17am: Only 20km? Really?
9:45am: Fuck me this in only 20km. This is a sneaky sneaky 20km.
9:57am: Lachlan and Kyle arrive at Cabramurra and commence eating breakfast sandwiches at 1488 Bistro.
10:10am: Kevin and Daniel arrive at Cabramurra and order breakfast sandwiches. How was that 20km?
10:11am: The ride to Cabramurra was supposed to be easy. It wasn’t.
11:46am: Depart from Cabramurra and descend. But this is a bad feeling descent, you know the kind that is always followed by a really steep ascent.
12:47pm: We start the really steep ascent. It’s already very very hot.
12:48pm: This is the ground zero Snowy River Scheme territory.
1:30pm: We’ve hit a solid descent and we’re tumbling down the mountain towards Khancoban.
2:15pm: Still descending Daniel cracks something on the road and burps his tire. So much for tubeless.
3:05pm: New tube installed and we’re descending once more.
4:15pm: We roll into Khancoban.
4:16pm: Over banana smoothies and espresso drinks we discuss continuing as planned towards Threadbo. Lachlan notes that the climb to Threadbo is arduous even on a non-loaded bike. Even as a paid professional road rider. Even when that’s the only section you have to ride in a day.
4:20pm: After mulling over our options it’s decided that we’ll stay in Khancoban for the night and reroute along the Murray River in the morning.
4:55pm: They’ve got a pool. We use it. Additionally we’ve got a guarantee from the front desk that this pool is Rockfish free.
6:15pm: Dinner in the pub. Turns out they have wide selection of Parmi flavors. Including Mexican, Hawaiian, Irish, Italian, Thai, and Regular.
6:47pm: The cafe owner/barista from early in the day enters the scene. She’s brought her own pool cue and she along with a gaggle of gals proceed to run the table.
7:03pm: THIS PUB IS GOING OFF
7:04pm: A group of about 30 bikers (as in motorbikes, as in hogs, as in Sons of Anarchy but in dentist/dad kinda way) is ratcheting up the energy in this place. Turns out one of them has a birthday.
8:12pm: Neither a brawl nor a feat of strength has happened or has been hinted at. This party is boring. Our crew returns to our rooms.

SECTION N^o2 Yonder Journo's Dingo Lingo

Communication is a KEY component to an effective and efficient investigation of a culture. In order to 1) understand what people are saying, 2) fit in, 3) keep your foot out of your mouth¹¹You won’t make the mistake of telling your wife you’re looking forward to sharing a coupla sluzzas with friends after dinner because you assumed a sluzza was a mixed ice drink not unlike a blended margarita., and 4) demonstrate respect via a willingness and excitement to learn, Yonder Journal collaborated with a team of Australian Linguists and Cultural Anthropologists to create an interactive glossary module of common expressions. Especially those which we’d be likely to hear and/or use in the context of a Normcore Bicycle Tour in the Australian In-and-Outback.

PARMI : an abbreviation of ‘parmigiana’; quintessential Australian Pub fare. A Parmi is a crumbed schnitzel, usually chicken (or beef or Veal) topped in napolitana sauce, mozzarella cheese and (often) ham.

SECTION N^o3 The "Descent" Into Cabramurra

Mile 267

We survived. But the night left its scars.

D I V E R G E

Kevin was the only one unaffected by the haunting. We think it's because he's a daily yoga practitioner and is therefore really centered and aligned. Ghosts know there is no use even trying to haunt that kind of balance.

Kyle is wearing his talisman garment in the hopes that he'll be able to ward off evil, or at least low-energy, spirits for the remainder of the trip.

Thus begins a VERY sneaky 20 kilometers.

Oh, it snows up here. Sometimes to heights taller than a man! You wouldn't think it on this day, though.

Mile 271

Mile 274

Our first real taste of the Snowy Mountains Scheme. With a name like that, you know someone's getting ripped off.

SECTION N^o4 Cabramurra

A Brief History by Dr. Dale Power The Snowy Mountains

The Snowy Mountains are the highest mountain range in Australia. The range also contains the five highest peaks on the Australian mainland (including Mount Kosciuszko), all of which are above 2,100 m (6,890 ft). It’s common for snow to fall in these mountains and there are a number of ski resorts. Getting SIQ in the Australian snow is common occurrence.

The first European to explore the area was Polish explorer Paul Edmond Strzelecki. Mt. Kosciusko, at 7,310 feet above sea level, is the tallest point in Australia, and was named by Strzelecki in 1840 after the Kosciusko Mound in Krakow (named after the Polish patriot Andrzej Tadeusz Bonawentura Kościuszko, who led a failed uprising against Imperial Russia and the Kingdom of Prussia in 1794). It’s said that Strzelecki thought that the mountain resembled the hill in Krakow. Which is true, it has a mound shape, but this armchair historical-psychologist thinks that Strzelecki was more than just slightly enamored with the brave and romantic idea of the patriot in question. I mean there are SO many mounds in the world, even in the 19th century mounds abounded.

The range is noted for its mountain plum-pine, a conifer that an eager Wikipedia author claims is suspected of being the world’s oldest living plant. Yep, nope this is total bullshit. This is exactly why you can’t trust everything you read on the internet. For instance everyone knows that the Bristlecone Pines found in California have been found to live over 5,000 years, so maybe the 600 years thing, although impressive, isn’t really that big of deal? Especially if you consider that American Raccoons can live to be over 120 years old. Also for instance, if you follow the citation on Wikipedia you can see that it doesn’t even claim anything of the sort. We don’t know how to use Wikipedia though, so maybe one of you all can fix it.

Early explorers were followed by stockmen who grazed their cattle in the fertile grass of these high elevations during the summer months. Have you seen The Man from Snowy River? You should, it’s great. It’s based on a famous poem called, go figure, “The Man from Snowy River” about the rugged high country stockmen by noted Australian poet Banjo Paterson. So there’s this amazing part in the movie when “The Man” drives his horse over a sheer cliff edge in pursuit of a prize stallion gone feral. It’s the property of the area’s rich landowner and “The Man” is out to not only prove his skill and tenacity but also win the heart of the rich landowner’s beautiful daughter. It’s wonderfully romantic. This plunge is accompanied by wonderful French Horn blast set against a rousing score.

In fact the stallion from “The Man from Snowy River” had taken up with a mob of brumbies, Australia’s free-roaming feral horses (in the States we call them Mustangs). Brumbies can be found in many areas around the country, but they’re are most commonly identified with the Australian Alps/Snow Mountains. Today, most of them are found in the Northern Territory, with the second largest population in Queensland.

Cabramurra is the highest permanently inhabited settlement in all of Australia. Yeah, we rode there. No bigs.

Bistro 1488, WE LOVE YOU!

TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY TOO EASY

Mmmm Bistro 1488.

PRO

SECTION N^o5 Khancoban

Mile 319

Neat little hospitality touch.

Kevin, "Do you guys like the movie Top Gun?"

Lachlan, "Huh? Sorry, I've just been staring at the sun. It's like a drug man."

For those who don't know, this is the butterfly stroke executed to perfection and caught in its most beautiful moment.

Feet, if you're into that sort of thing.

FROM THE YONDER JOURNAL STORE

Too Easy Tee

$30.00

In Australia they have a saying, Too Easy. What’s Too Easy you might ask? Well, in the land down under just about everything. It’s a universal rejoinder, acknowledgement, and affirmation. Ordering a coffee, Too Easy. Riding your scooter to the pie shop, Too Easy. Chilling against a wall, Too Easy. Everything in OZ is TOO EASY.

BUY HERE!

SECTION N^o6 Trip Tricks: Day 06

Cabramurra is the highest constantly inhabited town in all of Australia, the 1488 Bistro is the bistro in that town, and at 1488 meters above sea level is the highest Bistro in the land. But just because Cabramurra is at such high altitude that doesn’t mean our service and fare is up in the air. Let 1488 Bistro prepare the food you need with a friendly smile. You won’t regret it.

“1488 Bistro was a gem. There’s no better place to watch the comings and goings of the Snowy River Scheme then from the window side tables of this Bistro! We indulged in a series of breakfast sandwiches while watching the daily life of the Scheme’s workers play out in front of our eyes. If watching the mundane is not your cup of tea, not to worry! there’s plenty of food to be ordered from the counter so you can keep your mouth and mind occupied!”—Kyle von Hoetzendorff

“After hours of driving, we found this Oasis in a town called Cabramurra. A bistro and bar at the top of the mountain in highest town in Australia. Bistro 1488 named after its altitude and the highest restaurant in Australia. We were pretty much the only ones there, as the town was built for maintenance staff working on the Snowy Hydro Scheme. Delicious cakes and desserts. Yummy lamb shanks. A welcomed relief after days of fast food. I felt like kissing the ground and dancing a jig. We even got a chance to charge the phones, after the car charger was used by the kids DVD player. Must buy a double adapter I think.”—Lorri Butera

You might be thinking, “Hey this is just another rural town servo.” If you are, well, you’d be wrong. Yes we have gas and a repair shop but more importantly we have a cafe! Serving Smoothies, Coffees, Sandwiches, and More! We’ve got what you need to fuel the fire that burns inside of you. Need some fuel for your mind? We’ve got gift cards, yard and home decorations, and visitor information for the local area. If you’re coming through Khancoban you’d be missing out if you didn’t stop here.

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t expect to roll up to a country gas station and find a fully-operational smoothie station. I still don’t. So the smoothie bar was a welcome surprise! Festooned with country kitsch and operated by an aggressively-friendly/flirty barista I would have to say that our experience was one for the record books. Like the description says, “If you’re coming through Khancoban you’d be missing out if you didn’t stop here.”—Kyle von Hoetzendorff

“My biker gang, the Staggering Koalas, stops in here annually during our summer run. It’s probably against the leather vest code to say this, but I love a good smoothie. And the Jilly at the Khancoban Indy makes a beauty. I’ve even bought a few watercolors she’s got hanging around, I’m a closeted fan of the secret garden motif. Don’t let this get out to the boys though.”—”Reckless” Randy Barnes

Khancoban’s most convenient and well-appointed motor hotel. We’ve got a pub, a pool, and rooms for you and your mates. Come for the hospitality and stay for the meat raffle.

“There are two things I remember about this place. 1. The parmis, they had such an amazing selection: reg parmi, Italian parmi, Mexican parmi, Mexican parmi supreme, Greek parmi, biker’s parmi, summer parmi, dancer’s parmi, poolside parmi… the list goes on and on. If you’re a parmi fan you have to stop here. 2. The Pool. We’d come to Australia expecting to have a ton of pool/ocean/float time. Turns out this wasn’t the case, but when we got to Khancoban all our pool hopes and dreams became a reality, sure there were enough bugs floating around to provide protein to a small village, but we didn’t care. We swam and then basked in the golden light of the setting sun. Talk about a transcendent experience.”—Kyle von Hoetzendorff

“I’ve got a group of girls who come out to Khancoban every holiday for a bit of R&R. We stay in the Alpine Inn, have a few parmis and flirt with the bikers as they come through. It’s all innocent really, until it’s not! But a lady never tells. Also if it just stays innocent, we don’t mind because the bikers are just a bonus. We’ve come for the P&P as we call it: the parmis and the pool.”—Vera Capps

SECTION N^o7 Day 06 Route

Day 06: Wogal Hut to Khancoban

Dead Reckoning: Syd to Mel Normcore Bicycle Tour Day 06

SECTION No1 Day 06 Stats & Intro

SECTION No2 Yonder Journo's Dingo Lingo

SECTION No3 The "Descent" Into Cabramurra

SECTION No4 Cabramurra